There are two types of #marriages mostly women suffer from; one with a dominant man where the women are less educated and mostly suffer because of lack of opportunities, education and family support. A woman who is told at the time of marriage that you are leaving your parent’s house only your dead body will enter this house. She suffers because she is not socially or economically stable to get out of marriage, she is blackmailed in the name of her children, her family and stigma attached to society.
Then there is another kind of suffering in marriage for educated/working women which is based on equal marital rights where both spouses earn, run the house but a woman suffers more in terms household burden because a man is tired when he returns home from work however, a woman has to take care of house chores, kids and his family.
What if she demands equality here? What if she says I am also economically supporting the house so why the chores are not divided? Well if she says that; She is the meanest of the womankind, if she refuses to cook, she is labeled as lazy and a couch potato.
How if we change the equation and expect the same kind of loyalty from a husband? Yes, there are many good husbands in the world who support their wives and help in house chores but that happens mostly outside Pakistan. If a husband refuses to help in house chores then it’s a norm because he is a ‘Meejazi Khuda’, sadly this notion is also supported by mother in law who can feel how tired their son is after a long day but can’t feel the same for daughter in law why?
I feel sorry for my friend who is living in such a kind of joint family who instead of supporting her, made her life more difficult. When a wife demands a separate house in this situation where she dreams that her husband would help her equally at home would come true because there will not be a family pressure to judge him as ‘ Zan Mureed’.is a wrong demand?
I am confused, hurt because this is just not her story. It’s a story of every other woman who is suffering in marriages, they are good wives, daughter in laws till they are only giving, the moment they refuse they get a label of mean, selfish and home wrecker.